Who is Watching You in Your Glass House?
1. The Illusion of Privacy
You live in a world of floor-to-ceiling windows and open-concept floor plans. True privacy died around the same time walls went out of fashion. However, for legal reasons, we must inform you about how we track your digital footprints while you judge our architectural choices.
2. Data Collection (The Digital Crumbs)
When you visit Unhappy Hipsters, we collect certain information. Not because we are obsessed with you—we are too busy staring at concrete walls for that—but because the internet demands it.
- Log Data: Like a silent security camera, our servers automatically record information that your browser sends. This may include your IP address, browser type, and the time you spent contemplating the void on our site.
- Cookies: We use cookies. Not the artisanal, gluten-free kind you overpaid for at the farmer’s market. These are small data files stored on your device to help us recognize you. You can instruct your browser to refuse all cookies, but then some parts of our site might not work, much like a vintage typewriter.
3. Third-Party Surveillance
We share your data with third-party service providers because we cannot function alone in this cold universe.
- Google Analytics: We use this to see how many people visit us and which depressing photos are the most popular. Google may track your behavior across the web. We don’t control them; nobody does.
- Advertising Partners: If you see ads on this site, know that our ad partners may use cookies to serve ads based on your prior visits. They want to sell you things to fill the empty spaces in your home.
4. Google AdSense
We use Google AdSense to display advertisements. Google uses cookies (including the DART cookie) to serve ads based on your prior visits to our website and other websites on the internet.
- What this means: Google likely knows you’ve been searching for “mid-century modern chairs” or “why am I so lonely.” They will show you ads relevant to those queries.
- Opt-Out: You can opt out of personalized advertising by visiting Google’s Ad Settings. While you can opt out of the targeted ads, you sadly cannot opt out of late-stage capitalism itself.
5. Amazon Affiliate Disclosure
Unhappy Hipsters is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.
- Translation: If you click on a link to a book about concrete architecture or a $200 pour-over kettle and buy it, we earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. This helps fund our server costs and our exorbitant espresso habits. We thank you for funding our irony.
6. Email Newsletter
If you voluntarily subscribe to our newsletter (e.g., to receive updates directly to your inbox), we store your email address. We promise not to sell your email to spammers. We are far too lethargic for that kind of hustle. You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the link at the bottom of our emails, effectively ghosting us.
7. Security
We take reasonable measures to protect your information. However, please remember that no method of transmission over the internet is 100% secure. Just like that “secure” lock on your sliding glass door, nothing is impenetrable.
8. Links to Other Worlds
Our Site may contain links to other sites. If you click on a third-party link, you will be directed to that site. We assume no responsibility for the content or privacy practices of these external chaos agents.
9. Changes to This Policy
We may update our Privacy Policy from time to time. We will notify you of any changes by posting the new Privacy Policy on this page. We advise you to review this page periodically for any changes, though we know you probably won’t.
10. Contact Us
If you have any questions about this Privacy Policy, please contact us. Ideally, send a letter via carrier pigeon, but email will suffice: alwib.digital@gmail.com.