Unhappy Hipsters

He could keep his comfy leather library chair, but she insisted it be tucked into the bookshelf corner—a safe distance from the careful casualness of the living room.

(Photo: John Clark; Dwell, May 2010 )

His first day in the house and little Alfie was alarmed—even their hobbies were joyless. (He’d be hitting the catnip hard.)

(Photo: Lorne Bridgman; Dwell)

Even with his back to the bordello lampshade, he felt dirty inside.

(Photo: Emily Andrews; Urbis magazine)

Come Sunday, he escaped to the country to write overwrought poetry, and recline in an equally effete pose. 

(Photo: Julian Broad; Dwell, April 2006)

Choosing a chair without hurting anyone’s feelings was the toughest part of his morning. He couldn’t even make eye contact with the chaise longue.

(Photo: Thomas Ibsen; Wallpaper magazine)

Oh, to feel the smooth teak of the dining table under his paws.

(Photo: Dean Kaufman; Dwell, July/August 2006)

CAPTION CONTEST! Email unhappyhipsters@gmail.com with your best caption for this photo by Thursday. The winner will see their wordsmithery live on the interwebs on Friday and receive a limited-edition, super-secret Unhappy Hipsters prize. (And a smug sense of superiority.) Please include how you would like to be credited for the caption: name, nickname, anonymous source, etc.

(Photo: Gregg Segal; Dwell, October 2009)

The frequent window washing and dry mopping required to keep the room sufficiently spartan became more than she could bear. The bed suffered the consequences.

(Photo: Gunnar Knechtel; Dwell, September 2006)